Questionable Enthusiasm?

Some reading this or my questions on the ATP forum may wonder what exactly my reasons are for being so enthusiastic about moving to the tundra. Some questions that might be asked are: Am I running away from something? Am I desperate? What is so wrong with waiting three years until I finish my degree?

First of all, no I am not running away from something. I like to think I am running to something. Not that my life here is that terrible. I have a great life and I enjoy every minute, except maybe my job but that is nearing an end. I have a beautiful old Victorian house, a great husband, a wonderful son and life is great. I do not expect Alaska to cure or solve or eliminate any problems I currently have. In fact, truth be told, if I wanted an easy life I would remain here. Life is easy here but I am not looking for the easy way out. Challenge breeds knowledge and risk is the single most important predictor of happiness. I don’t want to spend life ensconced in my comfort zone. Challenge me.

I am also not desperate. Nothing is forcing me into this or persuading me to do it just as quickly as I can. I have a great job for only having an Associate’s Degree. In fact, it is a miracle I have this position if one is hiring solely on papered credentials. No one doubts that I am good at what I do, though, despite my lack of love for it and despite the advanced degree that everyone else in my position holds.

So, as to the last question, what is wrong with waiting? Therein might lie some of the haste. I am currently 28. By the time I finish school I will be 32. That is not old by anyone’s standards of course (unless you are asking a 12 year old), but it does make one wonder what exactly one is doing with one’s life. I have finally figured out what it is I want to do and now that I know, I don’t want to wait any longer. I know my husband is also getting restless. He wants to move as badly as I do and I am surprised he is at this moment agreeing to wait until I am finished with my degree. At the back of my mind is also the understanding that we are waiting to have more children until after we see how we react to Alaska and become a little more comfortable in that particular environment. That will place me in my mid-thirties. I hate to feel as if I am on a time clock, the very fact that age has to enter into this equation at all irritates me somewhat. There is nothing wrong with waiting, waiting itself actually provides some opportunities in our particular circumstances. However, that does not make waiting any easier. And yes, with time the enthusiasm might fade slightly but the dream never will.